Doctor, doctor, give me the news: What's up with $2 trillion COVID aid 'disbelief' bill
9:30 a.m.
On a faraway swamp named beltwayla A scruncheon of scoundrels lives to this day They hobknob about with a glint in their eye but they care little about you and I. They gurgle and gaggle and toggle and pout They point fingers and jingers and boy do they shout But what they like most is to put pen in hand And write COVID relief checks to beat the band Americans needs money, they say and they puffer We have to get it out right fast or they'll suffer So they wrote a bill and spent two trillion dollars It had something for everyone as long as they hollers
Money for blue states that mismanaged money They'll get their milk, they'll get their honey And a tunnel not far from the speaker's home digs It goes right to her hairdresser, Betty McBiggs And they didn't forget our friends round the globe There's $800 million for their food I am told
$800 million when our country's in debt That's the part gets us clumquats really upset And $10 mil to preserve Native American dialect? Is that COVID relief? Or someone's pet project? The Endowment for Humanities gets $135 million There's something rotten in Denmark, I'm feelin'
And relief for the arts is also at hand Another $135 millions I understand And libraries been closed for most of a year But they'll get $200 million to help them out here Americans are suffering, so here's the big beef Why only a dime on a dollar for pandemic relief?
The answer from above, from the skettlebums and such From the prunerats and puddleducks that run amok much Is leave this to experts, we know what we're doin We throwing a lifeline so stop your booin' But the $1,400 we get we'll spend in a day It'll be our kids and grandkids who'll have to pay
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